Anyone Who Ever Loved Will Know That I Love You
by Crystabel.Shalott
Summary: The Crawley sisters couldn't be more different, except when it comes down to admit their feelings. But, after having received hints from friends or family, they will eventually take the right decision. A decision they will never regret and that will influence their lives in the best way possible. Modern day AU, written for STEAMM day (SybilxTom, EdithxAnthony, MaryxMatthew).
1. Sybil and Tom

A/N: This is my contribution for STEAMM day 2014, it's a three part story and each chapter is about one of the couples. The chapters are one-shots and there isn't a major plot-line (thus the chapters aren't placed in a chronological order).

I'm not used to write Andith or MaryxMatthew so I apologize in advance if their chapters aren't that great.

The title comes from a line in the song by Cilla Black called 'Anyone Who Had a Heart'.

Special thanks to **Odestalovebaby** who gave me her opinion about the different story-lines.

I'm sorry for eventual mistakes. I hope you will enjoy it, and if you have time (and want to) let me know what you think about it. This said: Happy STEAMM day everyone!

* * *

**Sybil and Tom**

_Sybil had completely forgotten about Imogen's birthday party. Her friend had planned it weeks before but, after two very rough days and the results during her last shift of the day, Imogen's party had become the last thing in Sybil's mind and the last place she wanted to be. Sybil wasn't in the mood to celebrate anything, she just wanted to put on her pajama, curl up on her bed and cry until she felt completely and utterly numb because feeling no emotions would have been a better sensation if compared to all the sorrow and panic that filled her heart in that moment. But she knew that she couldn't just go to her room directly, she had to stay - even if it would have been only for a moment - with Imogen. She was her oldest and best friend (second only to Gwen) and Sybil had a vague memory of her promising to take part at the celebrations. But that happened before the dreadful events of that evening, and in the meantime everything had changed. _

_Sybil was sure that Imogen would have understood her desire to be alone if she explained the reason of it , but she didn't want to because most certainly it would have ruined Imogen's mood too. Besides Edna - her other flat mate - might have said something nasty in response (it wouldn't have been the first time) but since she and Edna were always walking on thin ice in each others presence this argument, added to Sybil's mood and her profound despise for Edna, would have led to a complete break of the situation. No, she didn't feel like discussing her day with anyone, it was __better __to stay with the others for some time and just sneaking away at some point, hopefully without getting noticed._

_As she reached her floor she heard the happy chattering of people and the laughter, which made her feel even worse. How many people had Imogen invited? A part of her wished that they were a lot, that way they wouldn't have paid much attention to her and this would have made things easier, but then again Imogen's closest friends could have been counted on the fingers of one hand so her hopes weren't high._

_Sybil put on a fake smile and tried with all her strength to sound cheerful as she greeted everyone and as she wished, yet again, a happy birthday to her friend. She stood with the others, ate a slice of pizza and drunk a glass of wine, but the more the time passed the more her façade begun to fall. And she felt more than miserable: everyone was having such a good time. Everyone seemed to be happy. How could they be happy? How could she pretend to be happy after what happened not many hours ago?_

_The tears, that until that moment she had tried to hold back, begun to burn in her eyes threatening to come out. If she would have cried, she would have done it in her room away from everyone. It would have led to too many questions, questions that Sybil wasn't ready to answer._

_"I'm sorry" she murmured to Imogen's brother, using her last self-control to keep her voice steady, before leaving the room and walking towards her room. She didn't make it, she didn't reach neither her room nor the second bathroom, and just crushed down on the corridor's floor. Her body was convulsing because of the sobs, and the tears flow down her cheeks. She couldn't make it and at that point she stopped caring if people might have seen her. She sat there, crying, holding her knees and in a desperate attempt to regain the minimum amount of self-control that she would have needed to get up and go to her room._

_Tom had fled the living room quite quickly, and much to his happiness he had discovered that the first bathroom was occupied. Two hours, two hours were the amount of time he had tried to stay away from Edna Braithwaite because apparently, after months she still hadn't understood what no meant. It was annoying, it seemed like she persecuted him Every. Single. Time. And apparently there was no way to make her stop. Of one thing he was grateful and it was the fact that they didn't meet that often. He lingered a moment, washing his hands yet again, before exiting the room. And that's when he saw her: Sybil Crawley sitting on the floor and crying her heart out._

_He and Sybil were friends because of Tom Bellasis, Imogen's brother, but and it happened that they had gone out all together on several occasion. It pained him to see her like that: she was always such a bright girl, always smiling, what on earth happened to her to reduce her like this? it wasn't a light crying, Sybil Crawley looked as if the world had just crushed all around her. He wondered if no one had noticed it yet and for how long had she been sitting there._

_He wanted to help her, he wanted to try to make her feel better. If there was something he could have done, he would have done it. There was no rush in going back to the others (not to mention that going back meant starting to face Edna again), and at the moment it was more important helping Sybil or at least ask her if she wanted him to do something. So he just took place beside her, his back leaned against the corridor wall in a position that mirrored Sybil's. _

_"Why are they all so happy?" asked Sybil, uncaring if the question sounded wrong.  
_

_"I don't..."_

_"Nothing" she just wasn't ready to talk about Amber Pen, talking about it would have made it even more real and she didn't want to. _

_Without thinking about it Sybil snuggled closer to Tom until their shoulders were touching, she welcomed the physical contact and after that Tom put an arm around her shoulders, she leaned her head on his chest. His presence, his steadiness and the warmth of his body were comforting, she probably would have felt the same with the next friend that might have passed, but she was happy that it had been Tom.  
_

_"I just want to sleep really" she blurted out._

_"Then do it"_

_"I can't. Imogen... No, Edna"_

_"Forget about Edna. If you're not feeling well..."_

_What Sybil said next came for Tom as one of the biggest surprises ever. He was helping her getting up when, with nothing more than a whisper, Sybil said: "Will you stay with me?"_

_Tom was a friend. He was company and if there was one person she wanted to tell everything that happened to her, it was him. For some strange reason he seemed like the right person. And she was sure, he wouldn't have judged her._

_"Oh... I shouldn't have asked!" she added after Tom just looked at her with a bewildered expression on his face and without having given her an answer yet. _

_It wasn't because of what the others might have thought. If they actually cared about it, though Tom doubted it. Nothing was happening and yet Tom felt as if saying yes was like taking advantage of the situation. It was about Sybil but his feelings for her could not be denied, it seemed wrong because he loved her._

_Damn it! Who cared? Not him. She needed company and he preferred if Sybil would have talked about what was upsetting her rather than just bottling it all up. If he could have helped her than he would have stayed._

_"No, it's OK. I'll keep you company"_

_"Won't the others miss you?"_

_"I don't care, and it's the perfect excuse to flee away from Edna"_

_"Still trying to seduce you?" she asked as a joke, but her laughter came out as a loud sob and the crying resumed "I'm sorry"_

_"Don't be"_

_He helped her to her room, and in the couple of meters that they had to walk before arriving there, Sybil held Tom's hand as tight as she could, nearly as if her life depended on it. Physical contact reminded her that she was not alone, that there was someone willing to help her and with his very presence willing to ease her pain. She let him go only when she moved away the covers and, still fully clothed - since changing was the last of her problems -, sneaked under them. She expected Tom to lie beside her, mainly because he would have been more comfortable, but he had just grabbed the chair from near her desk and placed it beside the bed. He looked more than uncomfortable, sitting there.  
_

_"Tom, you know that you can lie with me on the bed? You don't have to sit on the chair" she said.  
_

_God she wanted him too. She wanted him to take her in his arms even if it was just for a moment._

_"If it's not a problem" He waited for Sybil to move a little to the side before reaching her. Then, as they were close, he put an arm around her waist holding her and with his hand he begun to stroke her hair._

_They remained silent until Sybil said "One of my patients... Amber Penn... She nearly died today"_

_The truth, she split it out. Everything that was bothering her came out in five simple words. Five words deemed too less, and didn't reflect the pain and panic that the event had caused her. It was a shock and for a moment she really thought that Amber Penn wouldn't have made it._

_"It was a shock Tom"_

_In the whole story there was something wrong. It should have never happened. They were living in the twenty-first century and a sixteen year old girl nearly died of childbirth. Sybil knew that not always things went according to plan, but it was her job to deliver babies in to the world, deliver them in all safety for them and the mothers, and yet for the first time in her career she nearly lost a patient. _

_Sybil started to cry again._

_Tom felt completely powerless, even for him - who didn't know anything about the person involved, nor the details of what happened - the news came as a shock. It was easy to imagine what it meant living it in person, but surely it would have never been equal to living it. There were no words he could have said to make Sybil feel better, somehow 'I'm sorry' or 'I know how you feel' didn't seem right. So Tom just held Sybil closer to him, stroking gently her hair and waiting for her to calm down and eventually stop sobbing._

_It took a while, but in Tom's embrace Sybil found the comfort she needed, his presence helped her to reduce her pain and sorrow until they both were reduced to a dull ache. But even as she felt better she didn't want him to go, fearing that it would have all come back as soon as he exited the room._

_"Please stay Tom, don't leave" she whispered.  
_

_"I won't" he promised._

_And he didn't, he stood the whole night. They fell asleep in each other's arms and the next morning they woke up still in the same position.  
_

* * *

Sybil had moved to Dublin.

A year and a half after the night of Imogen's birthday party, her contract at the hospital she used to work at run out and she applied in several places but in the end she chose to move to Dublin. She loved it, she loved being away from Downton and she loved that she had been able to start again. It was a new chapter of her life, her own personal adventure. But there was one part of her past that kept on haunting her more than ever, and that part was Tom Branson.

They were living in the same city now and, despite the lack of contact in the past year, she wanted to see him again. Desperately. Imogen had told her to call him, saying that Tom wouldn't have minded her phone call. Gwen had told her to call him, because the chances were that one day she might have met him anyway. Tom Bellasis told her to call him, saying it would have been the best for them both.

_The best for you both_ she wasn't sure. They had interrupted contacts, apart from short emails or text messages at Christmas or birthdays so there was no reason for her to call him now. It would have looked like a whim, a caprice as if she was taking advantage of her new arrival and the lack of people she knew. It all looked as if Sybil was looking for a surrogate, something to ease the detachment but the truth was far away from it.

The day when she had shared her grief with Tom finding comfort in his presence, while Tom was trying to ease her pain and calm her down, Sybil had finally realized the truth. Tom wasn't just her friend, he never had been just a friend, she loved him and the truth hit her like a bucket of ice-cold water. How long did she love him? When did it start? She couldn't tell. It was there and she couldn't do anything to change it, and yet she did not tell him. She didn't tell him the following morning, nor in the days that followed. Not even when Tom told everyone that he would have moved back to Ireland, did she open her mouth to speak out. She had been afraid of her feelings, so she just hoped that time and distance would have made them disappear but it hadn't work. She had tried but somehow it hadn't worked and now, after innumerable conversations with her friends she was ready to call him.

Just to say hi, if he hanged up she would have accepted it and would have tried to move on. How could she call him, she didn't know anything about his life, well... not in a detailed way. And what did Tom mean when he said it was the best for both of them? When she had asked him for some explanation he just looked at her with a smile and said 'You really don't know, do you?'.

She longed for an answer but she had never received one. But perhaps if Tom would have accepted to see her, she might have received a long wanted answer.

Supposing he said yes, what then? Would she just declare herself?

Sybil groaned. Why had everything to be so difficult, why couldn't she just go back in time and tell her old self not to be so damn stupid and admit her feelings to Tom? She could have handled rejection and maybe rejection would have been better than two years of indecision and enduring love? God, she seemed stupid!

"This is stupid!" she murmured as she pressed the green button on her phone.

_Incoming call: Sybil Crawley._

Now that was a surprise. A surprise that slowly moved and was replaced by fear, fear that something might have happened to Imogen, or Gwen, or Tom or even worse Sybil herself. Then, he reminded something that Imogen had told him not a long time before, that Sybil would have moved to Dublin within months and that perhaps he might have called her since, as Imogen herself teased him, he always had been quite _fond _ of Sybil. Fondness was rather an euphemism that didn't even come close to the cocktail of emotions he felt inside when he was in presence of Sybil Crawley. It might have been fondness at the beginning but it hadn't been for a very long time. It had been a gradual process the one that turned friendship into love, though he remembered that he had liked her ever since the first day. He rather admired her and it was always a pleasure to talk with her about everything politics, or books it was always interesting no matter what. Not to mention the fact that she was the girl that had proven him wrong regarding his own ideas about the aristocracy. She was just Sybil no more no less.

And she was calling him.

He should have done it before her, and it was in his intentions were it not for a slight feeling of cowardice and the desire to give her some time to settle in her new life properly. That became an excuse rather quickly, five months and he still hadn't picked up his phone but now he would have answered and all the wonders and anxieties would have been forgotten.

"Sybil! It's been a while since the last time" he said as he picked up the call. It seemed rather a cold answer, and it wasn't really what he had intended to say but it came out this way and now he had to deal with it.

"I know... I" she wanted to excuse herself for the long silence that had passed between them, but before she could add anything else Tom interrupted her.

"And how are you?"

"I'm fine, thank you. I live in Dublin now"

_This conversation is getting more awkward every moment. _Suddenly calling didn't seem like such a good idea anymore. It was just a mix of short sentences with long pauses in the in-between, none of them capable to express themselves. It was like a robotic conversation where neither of them had anything to say to the other one.

"Imogen told me" replied Tom.

Why was it so difficult? Why couldn't he just speak normal with her? There was a time when dialogue with Sybil Crawley came out so easily, so what happened in the mean time?

"Right, and you're still working for 'The Daily Sun'?" she asked, trying to find a new subject to talk about.

"Aye, and you..."

"I'm still a midwife yes. My life is still not adventurous therefore not much has happened"

Silence again. They really were not going anywhere with this conversation, and the funny thing was that there were so many topics they could have talked about but it still wouldn't have worked.

_Focus! Just ask him to meet you which was one of the reasons you've called anyway._

"Tom, do you want to meet for a coffee? If you want to, that is, and if you're free and there's no..."

Was she trying to ask if he was in a relationship?

"No, I don't. There's no one... Not now"

That was a relief. "So coffee it is. You've been living here for longer so you decide"

"We could go to Aga's, do you know where it is?"

"I've been there once, yes"

"This afternoon at three -ish?" he asked a little to eager.

"It works for me. We meet there?"

"Aye. See you later" he said before hanging up the phone.

Tom wanted to scream out of frustration, this wasn't exactly how he had imagined things to be going. Perhaps it depended on the fact that they were talking on the phone or perhaps he just had to admit to himself that all the chemistry that there once had been between him and Sybil (if there had been at all that was) had just vanished into thin air. He really hoped that it had all to do with the fact that they were speaking on the phone but if otherwise he would have accepted it anyway.

It was a sad thing when two people, who once used to be able to have fluent conversations, who once had so many things to say to each other, all of a sudden didn't manage to do the same any more. And between him and Sybil conversation had never been a problem, it was something they both had enjoyed very much, the constant exchange of ideas, but now nothing. And hopefully that same afternoon would have proved them both wrong, he had missed it: the long conversations with Sybil, no who was he trying to fool? he had missed Sybil period and Tom was sure that three o'clock would have come in forever.

'It's just a meeting between old friends' had become Sybil's mantra as she prepared herself to the imminent appointment. Conscious about her feelings, she didn't want to build up her expectations. The phone call wasn't exactly gone as she first had imagined. It felt awkward, strange, and there was an incapability on both parts to make a fluent dialogue. Perhaps she shouldn't have called after all, but then again she was sure she would have regretted it for the rest of her days. More so, if one day they would have met by chance like if they were complete strangers.

Wasn't it funny how life changed?

Sybil knew that sometimes friends left for the better, it was inevitable. Everyone chose his own path and sometimes friendships were not meant to be longer than a period of time no matter how much one once cared about the other person. The question here was if Sybil felt ready to let Tom Branson go out of her life. The answer was: she wasn't not in the least and she couldn't imagine why on earth she didn't keep contact with him.

But he didn't either. That was the point. So perhaps he wasn't interested in keeping contact with her. Perhaps he really thought her annoying and intruding and a profiteer. But he agreed to meet her, didn't he? So at least he was willing to try. He could have told her no. He could have said that he was busy for the weeks to come.

She was making it become a problem, something more serious than it actually was.

"Just stop it!" she told herself as she finished to get ready and then making her way to Aga's coffee shop. Though she didn't just manage to shut her mind down.

She had never acted this way, she had never felt this way: an explosive mix of panic and eagerness and a hint of happiness. It was in moments like this that she wished to be more like Mary who, at least at first sight, seemed always to be in control of the situation she was in. Misjudged for coldness, in reality her sister's attitude was just a capability to put on an armor and shield her ideas and passions from the outer world. Sybil was like an open book, Mary wasn't and Edith was something in the in-between. At the moment the in-between would have been just fine anyway.

When Tom saw Sybil standing outside the coffee-shop, his hear skipped a beat and a large smile crept up on his face. No matter how many doubts he had had since the morning, they all seemed to disappear in the moment he saw her waiting, dressed in a pair of blue jeans, a fuchsia jumper with white and golden stripes on it and her hair falling down on her shoulders in gentle waves. Sybil was there and only then he realized how much he had missed her. For a moment he felt ridiculous, being in love with the same girl for ages and never telling her but it was only momentary as he simply decided to enjoy the moment with one of his best friends, who was also the girl he desperately loved. She was there and maybe nothing would have become of it, maybe they really were meant to part ways but at least he would have tried to make the best out of it, no matter what the future hold for him.

He didn't change, was the first thing that came to Sybil's mind as she saw Tom, finally, walking towards her. Still the same hair cut, and the informal way to dress, his crooked smile. Still Tom, not that she would have expected something different.

"Tom!"

"Sybil, it's been such a long time"

"Indeed, and I'm sorry for not having called or anything"

"Not a problem. Coffee then? We could take two and the drink it in the park, it's just around the corner. But if you..."

"No. It's fine for me. So how are you?"

"Since this morning? Still alright. I'm happy to see you"

"Me too. I'm just sorry that so much time has passed since the last time we saw each other. I should have called you sooner" admitted Sybil.

"Technically speaking the fault is mine too, it's not that I don't own a mobile. I could have pressed the green button just like you"

"Then let's forget about it, it happened but now we are here and this should be all that matters"

"Fine. After you" said Tom, opening the door to let Sybil in.

It didn't take much to get their coffees ready, then they walked together to the park. Surrounded by trees they sat down on the first free bench that they did found. A moment of silence passed before Tom asked Sybil "So, how is Amber Penn doing? If you've seen her or heard of her"

"I did, she is doing fine and so is her son. She finished school with high grades and guess what? She is going to be a midwife"

"A midwife?"

"She said 'I was inspired by what happened to me, I want to help other women just as you helped me"

"You've become her role model"

"To say so yes. Even if at the time she scared the living daylights out of me. But I think it admirable on her part, not taking me as a role model, but her wanting to use her own experience as a launch point for her future life. She is admirable actually, how she managed to prove everyone wrong. I know how this things usually work: everyone thinks that you won't manage to finish school because you have yet another burden but she did it and that's extraordinary for her"

"I'm glad"

"And I never thanked you properly for what happened that night. We never talked much about it, so thank you for helping me in a hard situation"

"You're welcome. Sybil..."

"What have you been doing this year?" she interrupted him before he could say something else. Something that she didn't really want to hear especially if it was just _it's been nice but..._

"Not much really, working most of the time. Participating to political meetings"

"Rallies? I did that too! Still do actually, much to my father's displeasure. Although I believe that after I've told him that I would have moved to Dublin, he will be able to bear better the idea of a political daughter"

Tom could have easily imagined Robert Grantham's reaction. They had met once and it didn't exactly go as planned: it had been unpleasant for both the parties involved. He didn't want to judge the Earl based on one encounter but he couldn't help but thinking that he was rather short minded, conservative and quite blind when it came down to his daughters.

"But that's how papa is, I just learned to deal with it. How's your family doing?" added Sybil.

"My parents have moved to the country side, Kieran still lives in Liverpool and has his own garage, Aileen's third child was born last month, and Saroise took a gap year to travel around the world"

"She's rather adventurous"

"That's not how my parents called her, but I will keep the Bransons' family matters away from you" said Tom, recalling to his mind all the arguments that his parents and his little sister had had "How are your sisters doing?"

"Edith left London and moved back to York, she has a column in 'The Observer' and writes about several topics. Mary and Matthew live at Crawley house, and are managing the estate together"

"And you are here and go to political rallies, but do tell me: do all of them end like the one we attended together?"

"NO! That would be embarrassing"

"You call it embarrassing? Can you even imagine the fright you gave me?"

It happened a year after they had been introduced, they had met by chance at a liberal assembly. Towards the end of the meeting, that due to good weather had been hold in a courtyard, there had been some riots and Sybil had been involved. They had pushed her to the side and she fell down, unfortunately she hit her head on the edge of a table and lost her senses. Seeing her lying senseless on the ground had scared Tom to death and, for the days that followed, the memory of what happened had haunted him like a ghost.

"Yes, and I already excused myself thousands of time before and you, Tom Branson, promised me never to mention the subject again! You broke your promise!"

"I'm sorry, I really am. Back to the embarrassing thing: did something more embarrassing happen in the mean while?" he teased her.

"I dated Larry Grey" said Sybil under her breath, hoping Tom would not hear the sentence and just move over it.

But he didn't, he heard her perfectly and he didn't really know how to react. A part of him just wanted to burst out laughing but that would have seen as if he was making fun of her, the other part died of shock. After all the talking, after everything Sybil said she went out with the only person in the world he was sure was the complete opposite of what Sybil wanted in a friend let alone in a boyfriend. Where to start? Larry was arrogant, filthy and subtle and didn't care about other people's opinion. He wasn't judging out of jealousy, even if Larry's attempts to flirt with Sybil had always gotten on his nerves, but even if he would have met Larry under other circumstances he still would have hated him.

"Larry Grey? _That _Larry Grey?"

Sybil rolled her eyes. It was something she regretted and was embarrassed for but saying it out loud and to Tom further more made it all even worse. She just wanted to disappear from there, she should have never mentioned the subject in first place.

"Yes, that Larry Grey. And it was once for dinner!"

"I want to hear this story"

"Well, I did it to make my parents happy but it didn't work out. Partly because we couldn't be more different: and he is vile and arrogant and can't handle a woman with opinions. Partly because as much as he claimed that he loved me - though I really doubt it - my feelings were not the same. They have always been for someone else" she replied and as she said the last part of the sentence she just looked Tom in the eyes.

Was it him? Or did she just hinted him.

_No, I must have imagined it._

"And what happened to Larry?"

"He started to shag Edna" replied Sybil amused.

At this point Tom nearly spit out all of his coffee. "Well you can't deny that they make a wonderful couple!" he joked at which Sybil tried to keep a straight face but didn't manage to and burst out laughing.

She had never spent much time thinking about those two, they were not really people she cared about but now that she was thinking of they did indeed deserve each other. A part of Sybil had always suspected that Edna started to have sex with Larry just to annoy her, but Sybil couldn't have cared less and Edna was welcome to it, with Sybil's good wishes.

"So you don't have to fear about Edna's advances anymore"

"That's a relief. I can go back to England in all safety"

"Your virtue still intact" joked Sybil.

They laughed again, but then all of a sudden they fell silent. Sybil looked at Tom, first at his eyes and then at his mouth, she suddenly felt the urge to kiss him, to let all the emotions she had since then suppressed come out. She wanted to tell him how she felt about him, how she had always felt about him.

"Tom..." she started, her voice nothing more than a whisper.

"Sybil..."

Tom gently put a hand on Sybil's cheek and lowered his head towards hers, but as their mouths were only inches apart he stopped, much to Sybil's surprise. Tom still wasn't sure that it was a wise thing to do, perhaps he was the only one who had felt the tension just a moment earlier, if he was going to kiss Sybil everything would have changed and he wasn't sure if he was actually ready.

"Yes, you can kiss me" said Sybil, when she noticed that Tom had stopped himself.

And thus all the doubts in Tom's mind vanished. He lowered his head, closing the gap between them and kissed her.

It was just a brush of lips at first but then Sybil parted her lips and let Tom deepen the kiss. Sybil wrapped her arms around Tom's broad shoulders pulling him closer, whereas Tom placed his hands on Sybil's waist. None of them was willing to break the contact, after all those years all their hopes and wishes had finally become true, but at some point they both gasped for air. They parted, smiling, flushed and out of air.

"We should probably talk about what just happened" blurted out Tom.

It was indeed the most unromantic thing he ever said in his entire life, but he wanted to clear things with Sybil. There was no way that after this first kiss - to which hopefully would have followed many more - he could have left the words that expressed his feelings untold.

"Well, I do believe things are rather simple to explain"

"Is it?"

Sybil nodded, she just had to split the truth out. It shouldn't have been too difficult, after all it was a three word sentence.

"The truth is" she started "I love you Tom, and I have loved you for a very long time and..."

Tom's expression was priceless as he said "Me?" bewildered.

"No, uncle Tom Cobley" she stated, letting out a small laugh.

Tom's face brightened up and he replied "I'm sorry, I just... I hoped that you would return my feelings for so long and now that you said those words, I can't believe I'm hearing them"

"So you do love me too?" asked Sybil.

"I love you too, and I have loved you for such a long time Sybil Crawley that I can't remember when it all started"

"I don't think that it has any importance, it's just important that it happened"

"Aye. You know what? I'm really glad that you called me this morning"

"Me too" Sybil said before kissing Tom once more.


	2. Edith and Anthony

**Edith and Anthony**

_Edith had returned to Downton, and she had been living there for only a month when the life, that seemed a mirror image of her teenage years, started to get on her nerves. Her parents had started to ignore her again, just as they had always done, or even worse they were giving her disapproving looks. Her father was the worst one, immediately followed by her grandmother, the Dowager Countess, whereas her mother was trying hard not to judge her. They leered at her because oh-what-a-scandal the middle daughter of the Earl of Grantham had returned home (after having spent several years in London working for 'The Sketch') pregnant and without the father of her child. Family reputation seemed to come before everything else, so that the first thing that they had told when she had first announced the news was 'And you are absolutely sure that the father doesn't want to be involved in the child's life? We'll have to find an explanation for it'. They didn't even consider for a moment that her return to Downton, her closing the London chapter of her life, was a way to move over and reestablish a new equilibrium. It was the best for her and no one aside from her cared. Little did they know that even if she would have wanted to keep contact with her child's father, it would have never led to anything more than a simple affair._

_Oh no, because Michael Gregson was already married and had no intention to leave his wife for her. And she had never cared about it until the moment she had seen the plus on her pregnancy test. She didn't want her child to grow up in an absurd family life, the newborn wouldn't have deserved it and neither could she have kept up with such a sort of relationship. She wanted a steady life, away from Michael Gregson and London, and away from Downton Abbey. She already had a new job in York, a daily column for 'The Observer', and was planning on finding a place to rent or to buy there, and it would have become her new home. She was happy about the turn events had taken, angry at first then scared but now she had accepted the situation and promised herself to make the best out of it._

_Mary gently knocked on Edith's bedroom door, waiting for her sister to reply. During the two months that Edith had been staying at Downton, she had tried to be nicer to her and it started working. Part of their past disagreements had been solved and, despite sometimes they still answered to each other in a cold way, they were learning to get along like they once did. No more jump to each other's throat for every silly thing that happened, no more pettiness and no more subtle insults. It was about time, but it was actually Edith's return that had changed the cards on the table: in a household were everyone was against her sister's decision, Mary (with a little persuasion from Matthew) had decided to take Edith's part in this sort of battle that was going through. She didn't claim to know what Edith was going through but she knew, by her own experience, that sometimes these sort of things were more easy to bear with an ally on her side._

_"Yes? Oh it's you" said Edith as she saw Mary walking in the room._

_"Everyone is downstairs and they wanted to let you know that the guests are arriving"_

_"but none of them wants to come up and tell me by themselves, I see"_

_"I'm sorry" blurted out Mary "I just wanted you to know that I am on your side, and so is Matthew. We don't judge your decisions"_

_"Thank you. I'll be down in a minute and Mary?" added Edith before her sister closed the door again "I'm happy that we are trying to figure out how to make our relationship work again"_

_Mary smiled "Me too. I'll tell everyone that you'll come in a jiffy"_

_Edith got up from the bed and walked towards her wardrobe pulling out a dark blue summer dress and putting it on. She tied her hair in a high pony tail and put on a pair of ballerinas before, then she made her way downstairs._

_"We thought that you would have preferred staying in you room and rest" said her grandmother as she saw her. Edith sighed and rolled her eyes trying to hold her tongue by making a nasty remark about the fact that being pregnant was not an impediment for taking part in social life. _

_She wasn't sure if her grandmother's words were actually led by a true concern towards her or if she was just worried about the rising questions from family friends. She was just in the early stages of pregnancy, and she wasn't sure that people might have paid that much attention to her to notice but surely they would have asked questions about her being there._

_"We are glad to have you here this evening" said her mother with a smile._

_"Really?"_

_"Of course we do, darling"_

_Her mother might have meant it but Edith wasn't sure that the others did too, but she chose not to let it bother her and enjoy herself._

_It was just a small dinner party, nothing to do with the grand parties the Crawleys had often organized, and despite Sir Anthony Strallan hadn't been really tempted to go he had, in the end, decided to accept the invitation. It seemed that so much time had passed since the last time he took an evening off. And perhaps it would have been exactly what he needed to interrupt his dull and lonely life back at Locksley. He didn't know any of the participants apart from the Crawley family but was happy that he would have made new acquaintances. _

_But the greatest surprise was to see that Lady Edith had come back to Downton. He had always enjoyed the company of the middle daughter of Robert Crawley and there had always been interesting exchanges of ideas between them, indeed he was glad to see her again._

_"Lady Edith"_

_"Sir Anthony, it's been such a long time!" she greeted him with enthusiasm._

_"A couple of years since the last time, if I remember correctly"_

_"Yes, it was around the time Sybil finished university. Before she started her training at the hospital and before she moved to Ireland"_

_"And does she like it?"_

_"In Dublin? Yes, she likes it. I think she is loving her new life"_

_Thing that had something to do with the fact that Sybil had finally come to admit that she was completely and utterly in love with Tom Branson, of that Edith was sure. _

_"And you didn't like London?" Sir Anthony asked before realizing that it probably had been a too bold question and therefore adding his excuses immediately afterwards._

_"Oh no, I liked it very much. But things happened, and I am not sure that staying would have been the best solution. What have you been doing?"_

_"Not much really, It's been years since my life had any sort of adventure in it"_

_"You should change that. It is never too late to live adventures"_

_"What do you recommend?"_

_"You should see something new, or learn something you don't know already. As Sybil is used to say 'It's doing nothing that's the enemy'"_

_"She might be right."_

_They spent the entire dinner talking to each other, it came easy Edith told him about her job for 'The Sketch' and life in London, whereas Sir Anthony informed her about how things at Locksley were proceeding. Sometime they were asked about an opinion in the general discussion at the dinner table but soon the main dialogue became only about the old times, long-lost memories, to which the younger participants at dinner (that counted only Edith, Matthew and Mary) had nothing to say. _

_"So, will you stay at Downton?" asked Sir Anthony._

_"No, I will move to York as soon as I find a place to stay. You should pass one day"_

_"Just set a date and let me know"_

_"Well, if you come too late, you'll find us in two" joked Edith._

_Sir Anthony was a little puzzled about Edith's statement, but an explanation came quickly after._

_"I'm pregnant" Edith admitted, after all sooner or later it would have come out anyway it wasn't exactly something that could have gone unnoticed, so what was the point in hiding it?_

_"Congratulations" _

_Anthony found himself wondering if the pregnancy was the reason because of which Edith had returned to Yorkshire instead of staying in London. He wanted to ask her but he hold himself back, it wasn't really his business._

_"Thank you"_

_"And you should pass the congratulations to the father as..."_

_"He won't be involved, it's a long story. Still, will you pass by for a coffee when I'll have moved?"_

_"Of course. I'm looking forward to it"_

* * *

The sun was shining through Edith's bedroom window, flooding the room of a light golden light and creating regular patterns all around the room. Not long after Edith had opened her eyes, she heard the door creek as it was opened, and she didn't have to get up to know that her daughter was entering the room. Violet had her own personal way to wake up her mother, she would wake up and walk to Edith's room together with her stuffed sheep named Marigold, a present from aunt Sybil and uncle Tom, mumbling to her her plan of sneaking into the bed. And just as usual Violet reached the right side of the bed, lifted the duvet and sneaked under it before cuddling near her mother, paying attention that Marigold wouldn't have been crushed between the bodies.

Edith turned to her side to look at her daughter, she couldn't believe that time had passed so quickly. It seemed only yesterday that her daughter was still a baby but now there she was a bright five-year old girl. Her daughter was the most precious thing that she had and she regretted none of the choices she had made. She didn't miss Michael Gregson - not in the least - and never, since she gave birth to Violet, had she felt the need to include him in their family life. She had moved on, and it had been easier than she would have ever imagined.

Through the years another man started to occupy her thought, a man she grew to love with years passing and that man was Sir Anthony Strallan. After meeting again when she had just returned to Downton the two had kept in touch and actually had become pretty good friends, and sometimes - Edith admitted it - she actually flirted with him. She liked him, she really did and she spent half of the time they passed together to let him know that, but nothing. At least they had fun, and Sir Anthony was very fond of Violet and the thing was mutual.

"Good morning my darling!" she said and then, as she saw that Violet was pretending to be fast asleep, she started to laugh. "Well... If a certain girl won't join me for breakfast I can easily say: I will eat _All _the cake Mr. Patmore gave us, alone"

"Mmmh cake" replied Violet with a smile as she opened first one eye then the other.

"That's right, and it's all for me" joked Edith.

Violet jumped up abruptly, grabbed Marigold, and run yet again towards the door screaming "No it isn't!"

Edith followed her daughter in to the kitchen where Violet had already taken place waiting for her mother to lay the table and prepare her the warm milk. She carefully unwrapped the cake that was placed on the table and then placed it in the middle of it.

"Mommy, Can we really start eating the cake for breakfast?"

"Of course. Why shouldn't we?"

"Because today your friend..." she paused a moment trying to recall the name of her mother's friend, the one who always told her stories about his journeys abroad "...Sir Anthony comes for dinner, and you told Mrs. Patmore that it would have been for him"

"No, he won't mind if we already ate two slices. Besides is it against the law to treat ourselves on a Saturday morning?"

"I don't know the law mommy, I'm too little" giggled Violet.

"Then you have to ask uncle Matthew next time you see him. But don't let it bother us, let's just enjoy our breakfast"

Edith added the cocoa to the warm milk, made herself a tea and then place everything on the kitchen table, together with two plates and two forks for the cake.

"What time will Sir Anthony come?"

It was funny, how her daughter seemed even more eager than her to see Anthony again. When Violet was little she had been very intimidated by Sir Anthony but as soon as he had begun to tell her about all the places he had been to, about the animals he had seen Violet had changed her mind and was always happy to see her mother's friend again.

"Around seven, why?"

"Can we do something together this morning? "

"You mean after the shopping? Of course we can. What do you want to do?"

"I don't know, something new and exciting"

"Something new and exciting it is then"

Sometimes when she heard her daughter talking, Edith couldn't help but think about Sybil when she was younger. Always seeking for adventures and new experiences, that then a couple of years before had driven her to Dublin. The difference was that unlike her parents, she didn't see her daughter's ideas as something that would have led to a revolution and if Violet would have become half of the person Sybil was she would have been more than happy.

"But first let us eat this marvelous cake so we will have sufficient energy to face the day"

Violet giggled before she took the first bite of her cake and the first sip of her hot chocolate milk.

When they both were ready, wrapped up in warm clothes to protect themselves from the cold February air.

"Are we going to eat pasta?"

"And a salad, some meat perhaps. I really have no idea"

"We should have asked Mrs. Patmore for help"

"Mrs. Patmore has already so many things to do, and we just as good as her. Don't you think?"

"I don't know. There are some things you cannot cook"

"And Mrs. Patmore knows everything, I see"

"And she has Daisy!" said Violet matter of factly.

"And I have you!"

They did the shopping, and took it back home before Edith and Violet decided to visit the York Castle Museum.

Sir Anthony was a little nervous about the upcoming evening, they had been seeing each other for years now but he was still nervous. He always was when they did not with her family at Downton or with other people present. Intimate dinners, or just meetings, intimidate him and he never had a clue about how to dress. Or if he had to bring something to eat, out of gentleness. He had asked her but she had said that she would have managed alone and yet it seemed a little rude to go there without bringing anything. And despite Edith's reassurances he was sure that if the situation would have been reversed she probably would have brought something.

Back in time it had always been Maud the one who used to arrange such things, and since her death, ten years earlier, he didn't really go out to intimate dinners anyway except when he was invited for formal parties or perhaps by one of his friends but then he never brought anything. He was moved by the desire to make a good impression on Edith Crawley, he liked her. He really did and he was fond of little Violet too. He had always wanted children, and so had Maud but unfortunately it didn't happen and not long after they started thinking of adoption Maud got ill and their lives changed. Looking back now, he thought it better that they didn't have any kids, he wasn't sure he would have managed to raise a child alone and he didn't want anyone to feel the same pain he had felt seeing Maud slowly fading away from life.

No, it was better this way.

But all the thinking about the past still didn't answer the question about what he was supposed to wear and if he should have brought something for dinner. He didn't even know what was on the menu, when Edith had asked him if he had some preferences or food allergies he simply said that he would have eaten anything to which she had answered _Then we will surprise you._

The way she said it... Had she been _flirting_ with him?

It didn't occur to him until now, though thinking about his conversations with Edith sometimes it had felt indeed like she was flirting. And why shouldn't she? Except that she was doing it with him and that frightened him a little. There was no reason why she should do it with him, he was far too old for her and he couldn't see why she should feel any need to form an attachment of any sort with him.

He liked Edith, he wouldn't have denied it, but at the same time he was more than aware of the enormous age gap that was between them. He was as old as her father! What on earth did possessed him to even think about Edith Crawley in any other way rather than as a friend. As much as it displeased him, he had to talk to Edith about the matter. He didn't want to lead her on with false hopes. As much as he wished that perhaps one day he and Edith Crawley might have shared a life, he thought it a little wrong.

_Back to what to wear_

He chose to wear a suit, it probably wasn't the right choice for the occasion but he preferred it to a less casual look. He never minded wearing suits, he was comfortable in them. Being used to them he really didn't see himself in a different outfit.

Wasn't that the point? Feeling comfortable? It would have been one less thing he had to think about.

At seven o'clock precisely the doorbell rung and Violet followed her mother towards the door of the flat. Edith answered the intercom and opened the entrance door as Sir Anthony announced himself, she reminded him that her flat was on the second floor, first door to the left as soon as one excited the elevator.

"He's come!" squeaked Violet

The ringing doorbell of the flat interrupted Edith from answering to her daughter, instead she opened the door and smiled.

"Good evening" was the first thing Sir Anthony said, a smile on his face for the genuine happiness he felt in seeing Edith again.

"Anthony, you shouldn't have put on something so elegant" said Edith as she noticed that her guest was wearing a suit instead of a more informal outfit. It suited him, and probably he preferred this outfit, but this way he kind of defaced the hosts.

"I don't see why I shouldn't be at my best, besides it's an important occasion as the next one. How are you doing?"

"We went to the museum!" exclaimed Violet before her mother could answer.

"To the museum?"

Violet nodded furiously.

"Then you should tell me everything"

"Do come in. We are all right, I hope you are too" said Edith letting him in and showing him the way to the living room.

"I am, I am. Thank you for the dinner invitation"

"It's not a big problem, we are glad you are here, aren't we?"

"Yes, we are"

Edith took Sir Anthony's coat and made him wait in the lounge with Violet, as she finished to lay the table and cook the food. She was sure that Violet would have told Sir Anthony everything about her day, she was such a chatterbox sometimes and it always surprised her that she didn't bore everyone.

Dinner went on in all tranquility, the food (pasta with fresh tomatoes and basil, followed by salad and Mrs. Patmore's cake as dessert) was prima and everyone had a good time. Violet finished to describe the things she had seen at the Castle Museum, and announced to everyone that she would have told aunt Sybil and uncle Tom to go there as soon as they would have come back for the next visit because she was sure they would have enjoyed it so much. Mentioning Sybil and Tom led to questions about their life back in Ireland, and an old story about how Sir Anthony had gone camping in Ireland and it had rained for the entire time. But, apart from some old memories, the conversation was rather varied and time passed in a blink.

"Violet, I think it's bed time" said Edith after looking at the clock.

"I don't want to" mumbled Violet, although Edith could see that her daughter was on the edge of falling asleep.

"Come on darling, your bedtime time has already passed by long now"

Violet let out a long sigh and put on a pout as she followed her mother out of the living room. It wasn't fair that she already had to leave for going to bed, she was having fun! Why wasn't she a little more grown up? Perhaps then her mother would have let her stay awake a little longer. Though she had to admit it, she was a little tired but nothing that couldn't have been ignored by sitting on a sofa and doing nothing except listening to her mother and Sir Anthony talking.

"Goodnight"

"Sweet dreams" replied Sir Anthony

"Thank you"

"I'll be right back" said Edith smiling.

Violet was already under the covers when she asked Edith something that took her completely by surprise.

"Mommy, do you like Sir Anthony?"

"Yes, why do you ask?"

"Because I think you do like him very much" said Violet before starting to giggle.

She couldn't believe it that she was actually having this conversation with her five-year old daughter. Was it really that obvious what she felt for Anthony Strallan? Probably yes.

"You look at him just like aunt Sybil looks at uncle Tom. And they _always_ look at each other" Violet said in a sing-song voice. She didn't mind if her mother liked him, for in fact she really liked Sir Anthony too with all his stories and he made her mother happy.

"Do I?" asked Edith.

Violet nodded.

"You know that I have known him for ages"

"Even before you met my dad?"

Edith nodded. How old was she when she first was introduced to Sir Anthony? She didn't remember, in her late teenage years. yes, it was before she had moved to London, a couple of years before meeting Michael Gregson.

"You can tell me tomorrow. I want to sleep now" stated Violet, as she hugged Marigold a little closer and snuggled under the covers.

"Goodnight my darling, and have sweet dreams"

Edith kissed her daughter's forehead and waited some time before leaving the room. She returned to Sir Anthony who was sitting comfortably on the sofa, happy that they would have had some time together alone.

"Here I am, again. We could open the wine bottle you have brought. If you want a glass that is"

"I would like that very much"

He watched Edith going away again and heard her tinkering in the kitchen. He had enjoyed himself very much and several times during the course of the dinner he had found himself thinking that he wouldn't have minded if he would have lived the same scenario for the rest of his life. A life with Edith and little Violet...

"Here it is"

"Thank you"

Edith took place beside him on the sofa.

"Is Violet already sleeping?"

"Yes and it's a miracle, it usually takes a lot of stories to make her go to bed, but I guess she is exhausted"

"Edith?" his tone of voice sounded more formal and less relaxed, as if the words he would have spoken out were not coming out easily.

"Yes?"

"I want you to know that this can't go anywhere" he stated. He wasn't sure if he was trying to convince her or himself, probably both.

"What?"

"Us"

His answer hit Edith who saw it coming but wasn't prepared anyway. She couldn't help but ask "Why?"

"Because I am far too old for you"

"Anthony... "

"No listen, I am the same age as your father!"

"Who cares? I don't and if you think that something ridiculous as an age gap will prevent me from being happy again than you don't know me at all"

"It's not a small age gap Edith!"

"Again, who cares? It's our affair." Edith would have never imagined that the words would have come easily, but once she said the first sentence she found herself incapable to stop. All the memories about her past, all the wrong choices she had made came back to her mind in such a vivid way that describe them was easily done "I am happy, Anthony, when I am with you and I dare say that you are happy about my company too. Listen to me, I didn't always take the right choices, I fell in love with the same person Mary was and he treated us both like shit. I cared more about him than about my relationship with my sister and it took us ten years to move over and start again. I had an affair with my boss back in London despite him being married. Then I came back and people started to judge me, my own family started to judge me, because I was twenty-four, alone and pregnant. People have judged me but I was happy. I am happy with Violet, and nasty remarks behind my back didn't make me regret my decision to keep the baby and start again. I don't care about the others, until I am at ease with the choices I make. Until the same choices make me happy. You know what? Everyone deserves some happiness, and it will never come if you live the life the others want you to live"

"That doesn't change anything"

"No you are right. You are still older than me, but if we want to give it a try it depends on you. I am here and I am ready, can you say the same?"

"And what about Violet?"

"In case you didn't notice she adores you. You know what she said to me earlier 'I think you like Sir Anthony pretty much. You look at him the way Sybil looks at Tom'. It's about you and me, and to quote Tom 'the rest is detail'. Anthony you can't let people influence your life"

How easy she made it all sound, and maybe it really was easy. As Edith said 'the rest was detail' and it really was but the constant thought of what others might have said was there. And what about Lord Grantham? How would he have reacted when he would have found out that he was in a relationship with his daughter? But was it really so important? People would have always judged other people no matter if one tried to take the right choices, Was he really ready to give up Edith without having even tried to give them a chance? Wasn't he the one who just a couple of hours earlier had thought about how much he would have loved making Edith and Violet his family?

"And you won't mind being involved with some crippled old man?"

"You are neither of them. If you need time to think, I'm ready to wait"

"I don't need time Edith"

No, his feelings were already clear to him. They had been for some time now, to be honest.

"We can give it a try, if it doesn't work we'll leave it there. If it works, better for us" said Edith

Anthony took a deep breath. He felt as if he was about to jump into the void, but in the end he knew that if he would have told no to Edith he would have regretted it for his entire life. He would have always wondered how it would have been if, on a late night in the middle of February, he would have said yes instead of no. And, thinking about it, he could have lived with people commenting on his life but he couldn't have lived in regret.

"All right then, let's give it a try"

"Perfect. To us then" she raised her glass.

"To us, and let us hope it works out"


	3. Mary and Matthew

**Mary and Matthew**

_If there was one thing that Mary always dreamed about, it was managing Downton Abbey as soon as she would have finished with her studies. There was nothing more thrilling for her than seeing how things behind the curtains worked: how the land was administrated and how the farmers worked. It all mixed up in the final result, like pieces of a puzzle, creating what Downton was and represented. One day she would have inherited it and this meant that she would have prepared herself as best as she could , to live up the expectations because she, Mary Crawley, would have been the first heiress of the estate and she wouldn't have accepted anything that wouldn't have been perfect. She was aware that her father wasn't exactly on cloud seven knowing how things would have ended but with some persuasion and sustain from her mother and her grandmother he slowly begun to accept it. _

_But then HE arrived, and for the first time she really felt like her father's act was all a farce. Robert Crawley never really intended to agree on handing the estate over to his eldest daughter, otherwise he wouldn't have hired _him_ to manage it. It was work Mary would have been proud to do, she would have done her best and she would have been open to new suggestions but it had to be her to do the job. But instead of hiring her, when Murray had retired from his job, he called Matthew Crawley to do the job thus breaking his daughter's heart._

_Matthew Crawley, a man who shared their surname but was not related to them. Even before meeting him she had started to hate him, to despise him with all her heart. He was the obstacle to her dream, he had become land agent and she had not. She recognized that it wasn't exactly his fault, more her father's but she didn't care. Matthew was there, a constant reminder of her broken dream and she couldn't stand it. _

_On top of everything else, after just a week of Matthew's work it became clear to everyone that Robert considered Matthew like the son he had never had. It was him who got the job at the estate, it was him to who lord Grantham explained things and listened to. Mary had been put to the side with the realization on her part that her father had never putted any passion in his explanations to her, nor had he really listened to her opinions. She was a woman (and she started to think that her father was that narrow-minded to think that she wouldn't have done a good job just as if she would have been a man) and she wasn't Matthew. It was all 'Matthew here, Matthew there', a never-ending sing-song that she had to bear at every hour._

_Oh how happy her father must have been in having found Matthew. The long wanted son!_

_Everyone else liked Matthew? Then she would have tried her best to dislike him. It came easy anyway, she treated him with coldness, tried to make him feel uncomfortable and show him that his place was not at Downton. And since they were living under the same roof, at least until Crawley house back in the village wouldn't have been ready, it wasn't so difficult because his presence was a constant reminder of her failure. _

_Matthew Crawley didn't really understand why his employer's eldest daughter had something against him. He couldn't recall having done anything to upset her, for in fact he was sure that she despised him from the first moment she had set eyes upon him. He had tried to set it right, he still was trying to set it right, but no matter how much kindness he showed towards her Mary continued to just look at him and spoke to him with all the coldness that she was able to gather. For some reason, whenever they found themselves in the same place, they started to argue it looked like a routine really: he would say something, Mary would reply trying to point out all the flaws in what he had said and the rest would just be a long debate. _

_He was tempted to ask her the reason of her behavior, but before he could one day he found himself overhearing a conversation that she was having with her mother. He was just passing by and had no intention to overhear it but as he walked by her couldn't help but hearing Mary scream at her mother, in between sobs, 'He forgot about me! Oh mama, he never had the intention to involve me, did he? The next person is better than his own daughter!'. And it became clear to Matthew that he was only part of the problem. Yes, he was there but it was Lord Grantham's decision that made her act the way she did. When he first received the job offer, he hadn't been informed that his future employer's daughter was interested in the job too. He wasn't sure what he would have done, but the past was in the past and there wasn't anything that he could have done now, except involve Mary in his job._

_Why did she just tell him? _

_Well... if she didn't want to make the first step to fix the situation he would have, and so he did._

_A couple of days later, he joined Mary in the garden. She was sitting on a bench under an oak tree reading, or pretending to read, he couldn't tell. Without a word he sat down beside her and waited for her to acknowledge his presence._

_"Have you come to start an argument?" she asked flatly._

_"If I recall correctly, you are always the one who starts them"_

_Mary just shrugged._

_"But it isn't because my passion for quarrels that I came here. I wanted to ask you if you might have had some time to spent with me"_

_"I am spending time with you right now"_

_"Tomorrow. I am going to make a tour of the land, talk to some tenants, take notes that sort of things. You should come with me, I could need some help"_

_Matthew Crawley asking her help was the last thing that she would have imagined him being there. It also seemed like an excuse since he had managed all this months without help, and now was asking for it but it didn't bother her not really. Just for once she would have had the chance to actually take part in the management of Downton in person, she wouldn't have just read the old registers she would have done some field work as she used to call it._

_"I suppose I can take a couple of hours to fulfill your task. Are you sure you want my company? Aren't you afraid that we will end up disagreeing on something and spent the day trying to sort out who was right and who wasn't?"_

_"That's part of the fun" _

_They both laughed, before Mary realized that there could have only been one reason for which he suddenly had asked her for help. _

_"You heard everything, didn't you?"_

_Matthew sighed. "I was passing by and yes, I heard you"_

_"Please forget what I said that day. Anyway, I have to go now so I guess I'll see you tomorrow" she said before walking back to the house._

_And from that moment their relationship became better, and finally Mary managed to take part in an activity that had always been appealing for her. It wasn't necessary to work together, and Robert Crawley didn't see the point of it, but they split the tasks up equally with the promise not to interfere with one another. They were both stubborn and often just ended up arguing about whose solution was the right one, but got along easily. _

_It didn't take long for their cooperation to become friendship and even less for their friendship to become love. The passage from friendship to love might have happened quickly but the realization, on both parts, took a while longer. Everyone was dropping hints, her mother kept looking at her and ask 'so you and Matthew?' and Mary was quite sure that they looked at her and Matthew with understanding looks. It wasn't until Matthew gave her a hint about leaving Downton soon that she realized that she didn't want him to go. Funny thing, considering that once she wanted him to leave even before he stepped a foot into Downton. Of course if he wanted to go, she wouldn't have stopped him, but she couldn't bear the thought of it. For her, Matthew's place was at Downton as a land agent beside her. That's the future she saw when thinking about the years ahead, but perhaps Matthew didn't. _

_They were sitting in the library, some registers opened in front of them, when she looked up at him and asked "So have you decided whether or not to accept your new job?"_

_"I did, and I refused"_

_"Why?"_

_"Because I feel that my place is at Downton, at least for now"_

_"I'm glad" admitted Mary.  
_

_"Are you?" asked Matthew, giving her a questioning glance.  
_

_The point with Mary was that she was a person who was always in control. She never showed off any emotion, not because she didn't care, she was just... careful. _

_"Of course I am, I won't lose my coworker. It makes things a lot easier you know" she said, trying to keep a blank expression on her face, not letting any of her emotion transpire even though she could have danced for happiness._

_"That would be a pity, loosing me"_

_"Absolutely. I would miss our arguments"_

_Matthew couldn't help but laugh at Mary's remark, and he could understand her well he too would have missed the witty remarks and the races to whom was in the right but most of all he would have missed her. Indeed, he would have missed Mary Crawley but not just working with her. He would have missed _her_._

_"I would miss them too. I really don't know how I could live without them"_

_Mary rolled her swivel chair closer to Matthew's one and smiled to him. _

_"You would miss just our arguments?" she teased him._

_"Maybe I would miss you too"_

_"Excellent" she replied before moving closer._

_The kiss took Matthew by surprise but by no means was it unwelcome. He had wondered how it would have felt kissing Mary Crawley, and now he knew it. _

_"And I thought that you hated me"_

_"That was long ago, but I'm happy that you're surprised. I should hate to be predictable"_

* * *

Mary was sitting in Downton's drawing room, a tray of tea in front of her and her mother and grandmother sitting in front of her. She had insisted that this would have been a quick meeting, considering that the entire house was in turmoil for the upcoming party of that evening.

New years celebrations had always been a big event at Downton, whereas Christmas was a moment for the family and the staff (with the famous ball, a tradition that had taken place for centuries) new year's eve was a moment to welcome the closest friends of the family and some relatives whom in other occasions seemed to disappear into thin air. And it was because of the upcoming celebrations that Mary found herself talking to her mother and grandmother. That year she and Matthew had decided to quit the tantrum of Downton and celebrate alone at Crawley house back in the village. It had been Matthew's idea and Mary didn't want to say no, after years of celebrating with the family being on their own seemed more than appealing, besides - even though she didn't exactly know the reason - she was quite sure that Matthew was scheming something. The way he suggested the idea made her think about it, because he used a tone of voice that despite his sentence being a question a positive statement was requested.

But apparently her family couldn't understand it, since she found herself repeating for the infinitesimal time in the week:

"No _mama_, Matthew and I won't take part of the party this year. We already told you"

"But why? You always did, people expect you to be there" replied her grandmother, her tone of voice letting all the annoyance she felt transpire.

It was already bad enough that Edith was away with Violet and Sir Anthony and that Sybil insisted that she had already plans with Tom and didn't want to bother his family by canceling the invitation, now Mary too had decided not to join the celebrations. She could have understand Sybil, and a part of her was glad that she didn't come hence none of the family members was obligated to see Branson again, and could have excused Edith but Mary? Mary had always enjoyed herself, had always cared about this sort of things and now she was letting them down. And what about the guests? What about the people who wanted to see her again?

"Oh granny, Matthew and I want to spent some time alone"

"But you have always come" stated her mother.

It was true but sometimes things changed or people made other plans. Just because there was a routine that usually was followed didn't mean that one couldn't change one's mind. And not that she hadn't warned them, she and Matthew had announced it before Christmas. It wasn't a last minute thing, so she wasn't overthrowing their plans.

"And this year we won't. Don't make such a thing of it"

"Not even for dinner?"

"No, how many times do I still have to say it? No, we won't come. No, not even for five minutes"

"And you are sure that you won't change your mind?" asked the Dowager Countess once more.

"We are sure. I mean it's tonight, not in a long distant future!"

"It's settled then, I hope you will have fun darling" finally said her mother

"Thank you, and you can say hello to everyone from my part. I will leave you now"

The last wishes where said and then Mary left the drawing room, made a quick stop in the library and - after having talked for a moment to her father - got back to her car and drove home.

Matthew was unwrapping the dinner Mrs. Patmore had been kind enough to prepare for them. It had been on Cora's insistence that they would have eaten something decent despite them not being at Downton. he had really no clue why everyone supposed that neither him nor Mary was able to cook, after all Mary had learned how to cook when she went of for university (and even though she wouldn't have been able to prepare a regal dinner with several courses, she was able to prepare decent food) not to mention that he, nor his family, had ever had a cook in their entire life. They weren't incapable, and certainly dining at Downton didn't make them forgetting their skills, but it had been a nice thought on the Crawley's side and he was grateful for it.

It was one less thing to think about and that was a relief. He had planned the evening carefully, and he was little nervous about the upcoming events. He wanted to propose to Mary (and that was the main reason why he had asked her to stay at home), he had wanted to do it for some time now but the perfect occasion had not yet come and with all the Christmas preparations and Mary helping her mother with the Christmas ball, they hardly had a moment for themselves always paying visits or being around. But he wanted to ask her that night, and stop delaying it.

He was anxious about it, not about Mary's reaction but to the fact that he didn't want to ruin everything. And how did he know when to ask her? What was he supposed to do? And most of all would Mary accept to become his wife?

He just had to calm down and think of something else, even if it would have been only for a moment, or he would have had a panic attack. Perhaps he should have insisted more with his mother on having more advice considering that her answer had just been 'You'll know'. What did it mean 'You'll know'? That wasn't helpful, not even a little.

He groaned in frustration.

"Matthew, has something happened?" Mary asked as she entered the kitchen and saw him rather upset.

"You're back! No, I'm fine"

Mary raised her eyebrow questioningly but didn't enquire further, sure that if it was something serious Matthew would have told her already, especially if it regarded his mother or the estate (but it couldn't be, she had just been there and no one had said anything to her).

"How's everyone?" he asked.

"I think they are a little upset for our absence, but they just have to deal with it. I think that since none of their daughters will be there, they think that something is missing"

"You make it sound as if you were objects to display"

"That's what Sybil always said, but I don't think it's all about that. I believe they are happy to have us there, only that sometimes they show it in the wrong way. And considering that above all granny and papa are very keen of tradition and conservative sometimes they make remarks that sound rather harsh"

There were loads of discrepancies between the Crawley sisters and their parents. Sybil was seen as a revolutionary, Edith always passed a little ignored (not to tell all the stories her parents made when they discovered that she was pregnant, or when she announced everyone that she was seeing Anthony Strallan) and Mary would have never forgotten the fact that her father had preferred a stranger rather than her when it had come down to managing the estate (although if he had chosen her, she would have never met Matthew) but their parents loved them.

"That's just how they are" she admitted at last.

"My mother used to do the same thing, show me off even if it wasn't in such important occasions. She still does, her conversations usually start with 'and you know that Matthew...'"_  
_

"I don't see any reason why she shouldn't show you off" admitted Mary "or why she shouldn't be proud of you".

"Thank you?" asked Matthew, uncertain if Mary was indeed paying him a compliment or just being sarcastic.

"You're welcome"

They finished preparations together and, after having watched some telly, sat down to enjoy their meal. Throughout dinner they chatted about this and that, but for Matthew the perfect occasion to ask Mary to marry her never come. He had the words on the tip of his tongue but the right moment never came. Funny, because he just wanted to ask her and yet he didn't manage to speak out loud. Dinner ended and he suggested that he would have put away the dishes and quickly cleaned everything up, this way she could have just sit down for a moment.

But Mary didn't sit down on the sofa, she walked outside on the patio that faced the small garden of Crawley snow from the previous days was still there on the ground, since neither she nor Matthew had bothered to clean the garden from it, and the light seemed yellow due to the snow. Everything was so calm and peaceful, and for a moment Mary's mind wondered back to the past.

When she was little, Mary and her sisters used to go out in the open air as soon as the first snowflakes started to fall down. The hour of the day didn't matter and more than once the three sisters (much to the families annoyance) went out just in their pajamas to enjoy the moment. The cold air, or the fact that they could have caught cold, didn't bother them and so they used to stand either in front of Downton's door admiring the first snow that was falling down and laying itself on the ground. It was special for them, a moment in the quietness when it seemed that everything was more peaceful and they were the only people in the world. Then they grew up, the first rift in her and Edith's relationship was made and slowly they lost the habit of going out together. All the excitement they once felt had slowly faded away. But Mary kept on doing it, perhaps not as often as she once did but nonetheless she did it, surrounded by nothing but her own company she took those precious moments and held them close to her heart. A sense of serenity always overwhelmed her and all her problems and thoughts slowly disappeared until she was quite at ease with herself.

She smiled, thinking about the just passed evening and how much she had liked it. She wouldn't deny that she enjoyed social events and she had always loved the parties her parents threw for special occasions (unlike Sybil who always walked around pouting and reminding everyone how boring and useless this things were), but she had liked the intimate celebration just her and Matthew.

Matthew. How much things had changed between them through the years. If someone would have told her that one day she would have been completely in love with him she wouldn't have believed them. As looking back now she couldn't imagine hating him as she did in the past.

Matthew placed the towel on the towel on the hook, turned on the dish washer and reached Mary on the outside. He stood beside her in silence before finally asking "What are you doing?"

"Nothing. Enjoying the moment" she said, her gaze not moving from the picture in front of her.

"I hope you liked the evening, it was different from our usual new year's eve"

"I did, very much too. It was different, but very enjoyable"

"Less crowded" joked Matthew.

"And with a smaller consume of alcohol, no doubt mama and papa's guests will have thick heads in the morning, but they will think that it's worth it" replied Mary.

In special occasions Lord Grantham always made Carson open the finest wines, not caring about prices and waste. It was all part of the scheme to make an impression but with no doubt the guests were grateful for it.

"How long till midnight?" she then asked, realizing that she hadn't looked at the hour for some time now.

"An hour -ish, I'm sure you will notice when the clock strikes midnight. Can you believe it? Another year has passed"

"Rather quickly I dare say, and so many things happened"

Sybil's wedding with Tom Branson, Edith announcing everyone that she was going out with Sir Anthony Strallan (both news that had caught her father by surprise and that had led to serious arguments) and new ways to manage Downton had been tried out.

Hearing her words, something clicked inside him, and Matthew realized that that was the perfect moment to ask Mary for her hand. It suddenly seemed so easy.

"Mary... We could make another thing happen, it won't take long. And if you accept you would make me the happiest man on earth"

Mary gasped for surprise. Was Matthew going to propose to her? Had this been his plan all along?

_Accept and make me the happiest man on earth. _

It sounded like that.

"Are... Are you proposing to me?" she mumbled.

"I am, so will you?"

Mary grinned at him, unable to keep a blank face, but flatly said "I won't answer unless you kneel down and everything. You must say it properly"

Matthew let out a small laugh and then took Mary's hand as he knelt down in front of her. He took a deep breath and started "Lady Mary Crawley, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"

"Yes, yes I will" replied Mary, hardly holding back her happiness.

Matthew got up again, embraced Mary and made her twirl around.

"I love you so much" he whispered before kissing her.


End file.
